The forgotten song

As we grow older (and not necessarily 'old' :)), we keep forgetting what we knew as children. At least I seem to. Back then, I knew from my heart that solitude kept me happy. Solitude of the kinds where I'd be my own friend and have fun conversations all day. In fact, I was often happier with own my commentary of wit and humour than spending time with many others! My own pure inner voice became synonymous with God. Chatting with God, walking with him...all emerged out of a deep faith and need for comfort, and I daresay realization that he was my best friend. He breathed within me. The Universe, his pure intent. Ah, what a lovely thought! (lovely is the new 'nice'?)

So yes, I forgot this as I grew up. I had to keep reminding myself of this. Cries of help from deep within for merry company, turned into loneliness when I didn't always have that. Still does. So when and how did I forget what I knew so well? I've even written poems on this (must.find.the.solitude.one!), so convinced was I about this way of being. Like the rumbling depths of a latent volcano, I still have this buried inside me. I'm trying to unearth it from under the layers of negative thoughts and life experiences that have made me forget my essential truth. That as within, so without. Joy within, joy without. You can't fill this well from the outside. It's a spring that has to be dug out from within, and it will come gushing out merrily. I'm returning to my truth; the child within is guiding me to the light.