An explosion of a different kind

All is quiet and peaceful. Until suddenly, you're on a roll. Someone's just doused you with a tank full of crispy cool water in the middle of summer and sent you rolling down a water slide - you land with a splash into a pool. And start gasping with excitement. Possibly bobbing up n down in there as well.

That's how an idea hits me. And no, it's usually not just one. They come like an army - Determined. Energized. Blinding. They march straight into my head; going all over the place like a swarm of bees. Almost like an explosion. Leaving me gasping.

I don't know what is it with ideas and me?! (Didn't I warn you this blog would have a lot of 'me'?! :P) They seem to love me, and come very unexpectedly. In the middle of the night. When I'm slapping a roti onto the tava. When I'm on a phone call. In the IGP lecture. On the roads. In the train. While gazing at the stars. While sitting at LKP. On the terrace. In the rains. Sipping on a cuppa coffee. Listening to music. Day dreaming. While trying to write a report. While listening to my boss's briefing. While working at office. Like today.

An idea can hit me anytime. It's both a cause and an effect. I shall proceed to explain *Ahem!*

One can judge an event or an experience on many parameters. Exciting/dull, fun/boring, learnt something/useless, memorable/watevah, blah blah blah...to me, it's simple. One point measure. Stimulation. How much the event/experience, or even person for that matter - stimulated my mind. Evoked thoughts. Not so much what happened outside, but what it changed within. I know the signs by now. Slowly rising pulse. Eventually racing. Eyes darting here n there. Decibel levels increasing when I talk. Slight vibration in my hands. A weird sort of energy. And a mind abuzz with ideas. Loads of them. All kinds. Sometimes, the energy gets too much for me to handle. In fact, most of the times. Unless I give it an outlet. If I don't write/scream/laugh/talk/dance away the energy, it can get very bad. I could be found jumping up n down on the couch. Or throwing my hands in all directions in gestures that seem meaningless. Or could even look like my face is about to burst - it shines n glows, my cheeks turn red with excitement. Sometimes, it becomes a frenzy. And if I don't release the energy, it results into physical pain. ("Huh?! What?! Aw come on....you gotta be kidding!" *sigh* I knew you wouldn't believe this one. Never mind. You can call me a weirdo if that gives you a reason to believe) Which is when I do something like what I'm doing write now. Even as I occasionally clutch my right shoulder to try n stop it from paining. *ouch*

It can get distracting if it happens in the middle of a lecture. Which it has. Many a time. Being in the institute that I am in, I'm not surprised. IIM A has quite a few brilliant profs. People who perhaps don't need to teach, but do it only coz they love teaching. They're madly passionate about their subject, and are capable of evoking that passion in anyone who steps in with an open mind. I have, many a time. And have stepped out clutching my shoulder, or hand, or head. Sometimes, it's been too much too take. I mean, firstly the prof's too good. Secondly, that morning's good and I'm in class with an open mind. Thirdly, the lecture unravels itself so beautifully. The process kicks in. I have often been left perplexed and helpless, as my mind wildly races from the hills of Switzerland and what kind of a house I'd like there to what the Education minister should be doing with schools right now. *Buzzzz* Until the prof.'s voice fades away, and I can hear only my own. Lots of them, going off at the same time. Very soon, I'm in my own world. Oh all's well until I get cold called and jolted back into reality. With the guilt that I took off on a trip in the middle of an amazing lecture. But what could I have done - the very lecture was the cause - don't you see?!!

I first started jotting down thots on the last pages of my full scape books. Until they started eating from backwards into the actual notes. I now carry an 'Idea diary' or more aptly titled 'Random Thoughts'. I remember reading sometime - Alyque Padamsee once said somewhere - "The secret of my creativity is this -" And he held up a pen and a diary. "I carry this with me all the time." Trust me, he's right. I can safely get back to my lecture now, once I've got one rush of ideas outta my way, until the next batch strikes...

So that's what happened today, Imli. I started talking to Bhupi (a co-intern from IIM B) about my current confusions, my passion, my dreams...ahhh! my dreams. They send me on a frenzy too. All it took today was me starting to talk about making a difference, doing something about education, how would I do it and when, what would happen to my livelihood, material comfort, the other random things I've always wanted to do...like theatre...RJing...exploring the interiors of India..venturing out on my own...and there I was on another one of my trips. Only that this time round, operational issues kicked in and I started thinking about my 'dreams' more seriously. For longer. Which pushed up the energy even more. *Sigh*

And now here I am, in the middle of the night trying to regain my lost composure. Any ideas, anyone?!

Did I just say 'ideas'?! Aaaaaarrrrgghhhhh!

P.S - I'm all set to be blown away anyday ;)